Bad Ideas

Well, I strongly suspect that this shouldn’t have worked, but there you go. When you run the numbers against the development of our planet to its current life supporting state you start to think that about a lot of things.

There are times that I get an image in my head, and an occasionally alarming compulsion to make those things real. As I am a pretty useless visual artist, I will almost inevitably default to a medium in which I am competent. Which means either prose, roleplaying game design, or…

Food.

I don’t think that my teenage self would approve if they realised that I now considered this a means of self expression. But seriously, fusk ’em, I don’t give a fusk what my fourth dimensional selves think and they’re all fusked in the head.

Anyway, I’m in a Blade Runner kind of mood, so I’m making…

Curry Gyoza Noodles

Yeah, bit of a funny revelation, but Pythagoras¬†got triangles, I get carbs. Here’s how you do it.¬†20161121_134536.jpg

First, you need some Gyoza. And if you think these little dumplings aren’t cyberpunk as fusk, then take one look at the ingredients and you’ll realise that they almost entirely epitomise the kind of shenanigans I’ve been trying to embody throughout this blog.

I don’t know if there’s a thing in there that isn’t a thing-substitute.

Anyway, you fry the gyoza then steam them. The trick here is not to use too much oil, because if you do it’ll attempt your murder when you pour the water in for steaming.

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Action shot!

Anyway, that’s pretty easy stuff. Take the now cooked gyoza out of the pan and set them aside somewhere. I mean you could use a new pan if you’re some fancy-pants multiple pan owning type, but I did it with one because that’s what I’ve got.

Next stage, sauce. I could have made something with vitamins and minerals and such, but that isn’t what I did.

Dice up an onion and a couple of small potatoes very finely. Using the (same) pan, fry these things, and once they have that tasty fried coating sprinkle them liberally with curry powder. VERY liberally, or you will be cast from this blog in shame!

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Anyway, from there its the simple addition of this blood substituting, incredibly cheap cleanskin, which is also our drop of the night. Day. Time has gotten slippery for me lately.

Add a bit of water to the sauce to keep it fairly thin, as its going to need to soak through both dumplings and noodles.

And now we get to those noodles! I personally use the very cheapest ramen on the market, not the instant variety but the serious bulk packs from Jinmailing. Though they usually require a second round of boiling to extract the unusually high amount of starch, but once you get over that little hurdle you’re away.

So cook the noodles. Please don’t ask me to teach you how to do that.

With that done, so are we. Place the dumplings on the noodles, pour the sauce on, and garnish with a little Japanese style pickled ginger and sliced raw spring onions.

Somehow, imaginary readers, it worked.

Keep on rockin.

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Circus Oz in Review

Ok. Notes to self.

1) Get buff.

2) Run away and join the circus

And I feel if you come away from a circus feeling like that then they’ve done their jobs.

I hadn’t seen Circus Oz before, but I would recommend their current Melbourne show. Cast in the shadow of ruins out of Ozymandius, or its nearest circus equivalent, my partner and I had our collective socks knocked off by these stellar performers.

Personal highpoints included a German Wheel routine in which a man resembling a Scottish Wolverine defied gravity for heavy metal infused minutes on end, and a static trapeze routine there’s around narcolepsy, which is exactly as tense as it sounds. In another brilliant touch, the performers cycled between the band and the centre stage effortlessly, showing off a fantastic breadth of talent.

If anything felt a little laboured, it was the beginning of a consumerism themed sub plot, but these naturally suffer for inertia. It built nicely between other acts to a manic, creepy, bar coded, spruiker fueled explosion of theatrical chaos.

So imaginary Melbournites! If you have a night free, I heartily recommend. You’ll be smashing situps and flying about on any geometric shapes you can lay your grabby mits on. Hm, there might be some merit in that… I wonder if I can market that as an exercise scheme…

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Photo “Circus” by Marja van Bochove aka on1stsite on flickr